(Shawshank) Redemption
Cecilia's grandma commented how chubby she is, unlike scrawny Cynthia - the older sibling. The dad of the girls replied that Cynthia used to be chubby too, like a piglet. Cynthia found it ridiculous and scuttled to her dad. She started pummeling him, at first still smiling, but the smile soon disappeared and she flew into a rage, delivering more forceful blows. Eventually, the strength reduced and she scowled, as tears started welling in her eyes and then cascaded down her cheeks. Her dad endured the hits, until he couldn't stand it anymore and lost it. He opened the door and shoved Cynthia outside, furiously reprimanding her. Cynthia's mum tried to step in, but was stopped. She could only sigh and highlighted that Cynthia cares very much about dignity, thus explaining her reaction. The grandma told Cynthia she couldn't differentiate between serious insult and coltish tease, and explained it was a passing remark, neither scolding nor hitting her.
The above reminds me of how my brother used to exert violence on me, albeit not with heavy force. I could understand Cynthia's anger and helplessness intertwining inside. You feel angry with the way you're treated, want to fight back, yet you know it will come to naught, so you might as well give up. You don't really understand what wrong you committed, and wonders if the person "punishing" you really has the right to do so.
Cynthia's mum managed to explain why Cynthia reacted that way, and her grandma correctly pointed out that her father was merely teasing. However, both failed to tell her that hitting her dad that way was wrong, and neglected telling her what she should have done instead - perhaps telling the dad openly that she was not happy with that remark. Maybe you can say she needs to get used to hearing things that she doesn't like to hear, but I think as she is still very much juvenile, that can be learnt later. The point of higher importance now, is to instill a more rightful way to act.
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What is the rightful way to act for myself then? What is the fine line between fighting for what I want, versus coming off as too aggressive? What is the fine line between joking, versus offending someone? Perhaps when you do not know, the way is by trial and error.
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Just watched "The Shawshank Redemption". I tried watching it on the plane en route to Beijing last year, but there were no subtitles and I couldn't hear the dialogue clearly so I stopped halfway. I'm glad I finally finished it within the comfort of my room. It is a pretty lengthy film, but it promises great returns - spiritually and emotionally. "Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies."
The above reminds me of how my brother used to exert violence on me, albeit not with heavy force. I could understand Cynthia's anger and helplessness intertwining inside. You feel angry with the way you're treated, want to fight back, yet you know it will come to naught, so you might as well give up. You don't really understand what wrong you committed, and wonders if the person "punishing" you really has the right to do so.
Cynthia's mum managed to explain why Cynthia reacted that way, and her grandma correctly pointed out that her father was merely teasing. However, both failed to tell her that hitting her dad that way was wrong, and neglected telling her what she should have done instead - perhaps telling the dad openly that she was not happy with that remark. Maybe you can say she needs to get used to hearing things that she doesn't like to hear, but I think as she is still very much juvenile, that can be learnt later. The point of higher importance now, is to instill a more rightful way to act.
//
What is the rightful way to act for myself then? What is the fine line between fighting for what I want, versus coming off as too aggressive? What is the fine line between joking, versus offending someone? Perhaps when you do not know, the way is by trial and error.
//
Just watched "The Shawshank Redemption". I tried watching it on the plane en route to Beijing last year, but there were no subtitles and I couldn't hear the dialogue clearly so I stopped halfway. I'm glad I finally finished it within the comfort of my room. It is a pretty lengthy film, but it promises great returns - spiritually and emotionally. "Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies."
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