A Turbulent June
It has always been rumoured that the facilitators of university camps research on, judge, and carefully handpick individuals as participants. Haha, don't know how true is that. Still, they decided to pick this guy - who has been writing torrents of emo posts - for SOW. Perhaps Business and Law camps have higher filter levels.
Decided to write again, as a way to release some feelings and to document what have happened the past two weeks. Or actually no, since I can only remember up till last week.
The day trip to Malaysia last Wednesday truly served as a respite. Every now and then I still have this unsettling feeling about not going anywhere further than Malaysia. I probably only have myself to blame for opting out of the Perth trip but at that point of time I seriously think it wouldn't turn out good, and I still think so. Didn't want to travel for the sake of traveling and screw up people's feelings. Talking about this, I haven't been in touch (taking whatsapp into consideration) with the 3 intended travel companions since. Actually only 3 weeks have passed. I believe it is not a long period to them, but I somehow feel that it has been 3 months. I have things I want to say but did not, and still have not... I don't have high hopes that they'll ever jio me out in the future, and I'm not sure if I should keep jio-ing them for the next 5 10 20 years. But what I can confirm is, I will ask them out at least one more time, separately, to say what I haven't say, and to help me make my decision for the future. A friend once said "Absence makes the heart fonder". It has been only exactly a month since we last met, and to them, it is definitely not long, so maybe I'll wait for a few more months. Not saying that their hearts will really become fonder months later, maybe still the same, but at least it won't feel like "Eh? I thought we've just met?"
Last Friday was an enjoyable night for me. Met up with section mates for steamboat, followed by arcade, playing Rock Band at St. Games, midnight movie, chit-chat, and then taking the first bus home. A friend of mine really makes me mentally imbalanced with his string of activities, which includes two overseas trips within two months, not within Southeast Asia. Can't help envying. I still believe in simple joys of life though, and no matter what I'll try to be contented with what I have, like that Friday night which I just mentioned. Instead of merely talking about what were right in front of our eyes, we shared problems and discussed about other issues. Went for Jurong Lake Run on Saturday. Only 6km but really felt like dying. Still, I'm thankful that Daniel jio-ed me for that run. First ever run I signed up for. Wanted to take picture with Mr Tharman, but too paiseh. A pity, but won't die. Had dinner with Cindy and Kaiting on Sunday. Jason couldn't make it - too busy with camps and socializing. Pretty cool that he actually asked me how the night went. But after I said my piece, there wasn't anymore reply. Wtf, might as well don't ask. Anyway, we ate at Koh Grill and Sushi Bar. Long time after people raved about it, I finally tried it. The signature "shiok maki" was indeed good. Already described on Instagram, so shall not repeat. I know that the Charlie platoon 8 boys have been there before. Can't help being reminded of that picture. Sometimes I just wish I can erase some memories. Didn't join them because we weren't close enough at that time. Now also not say close with a lot of people. Neither here nor there. On the fence. Grey zone.
Started learning driving on Monday. Instructor is a professional, but queer guy. Nothing else to say. Just wanna faster get that damn license. Met Minqi on Tuesday before she flew off to South Korea for summer studies. She once mentioned that I'm a "precious friend" despite reduced interactions. Damn touched.
I like my OC in Charlie. He is flexible, understanding, caring, respectable, and knows how to build rapport with his men. In the battalion birthday card that I received this year, he wrote that it seems just like yesterday when we were at Tekong (during AIT phase when he just joined us), sitting under the stars and chatting while waiting for the assault. That was 1.5 years back, and I share that memory too. He could really talk - words kept gushing out from his mouth like water from an open tap. I remember the other people started dozing off, and I was the last one standing. I admit that I also wanted to turn off and get some peace and quiet but I gave him face. Lately, he has been pretty moody. I wrote a PM to him on Facebook on Thursday trying to lift his spirits a little. A 21-year-old trying to talk a 30-year-old round, haha. But I think I made some sense. The NSmen still call him Sir. Maybe commanders got the "commander burden". But I have no qualms calling him by his name. It isn't unruly what, I'm not in uniform and I'm not under him anymore. Maybe next month jio him out to see how he's doing. Also Thursday, I was very out of the blue when I asked to exchange phone numbers with a primary school friend. We are not totally strangers as we've exchanged a few email correspondences throughout the years and conversed on MSN. Then again, it has been a long time since we interacted. She gave her number without hesitation and when I went a step further to ask her out, she amazingly readily agreed. Gonna talk our hearts out tomorrow.
I watched a Running Man episode on Friday with Park Ji-sung as the guest. I went to google him and found out that "He is the most decorated Asian footballer in history." Then I found out about this best friend Patrice Evra (reminded of HIMYM), and realized that both of them appeared on an earlier episode. So I went to watch it. Evra is damn hilarious. I also saw the following clip, which is endearing.
The lady at the end should have omitted "Maybe not as much as Patrice". That was uncalled for.
This month hasn't been easy - things falling out of expectations, and wondering about my importance to others. Still, I have experienced simple joys of life. That's about it.
Decided to write again, as a way to release some feelings and to document what have happened the past two weeks. Or actually no, since I can only remember up till last week.
The day trip to Malaysia last Wednesday truly served as a respite. Every now and then I still have this unsettling feeling about not going anywhere further than Malaysia. I probably only have myself to blame for opting out of the Perth trip but at that point of time I seriously think it wouldn't turn out good, and I still think so. Didn't want to travel for the sake of traveling and screw up people's feelings. Talking about this, I haven't been in touch (taking whatsapp into consideration) with the 3 intended travel companions since. Actually only 3 weeks have passed. I believe it is not a long period to them, but I somehow feel that it has been 3 months. I have things I want to say but did not, and still have not... I don't have high hopes that they'll ever jio me out in the future, and I'm not sure if I should keep jio-ing them for the next 5 10 20 years. But what I can confirm is, I will ask them out at least one more time, separately, to say what I haven't say, and to help me make my decision for the future. A friend once said "Absence makes the heart fonder". It has been only exactly a month since we last met, and to them, it is definitely not long, so maybe I'll wait for a few more months. Not saying that their hearts will really become fonder months later, maybe still the same, but at least it won't feel like "Eh? I thought we've just met?"
Last Friday was an enjoyable night for me. Met up with section mates for steamboat, followed by arcade, playing Rock Band at St. Games, midnight movie, chit-chat, and then taking the first bus home. A friend of mine really makes me mentally imbalanced with his string of activities, which includes two overseas trips within two months, not within Southeast Asia. Can't help envying. I still believe in simple joys of life though, and no matter what I'll try to be contented with what I have, like that Friday night which I just mentioned. Instead of merely talking about what were right in front of our eyes, we shared problems and discussed about other issues. Went for Jurong Lake Run on Saturday. Only 6km but really felt like dying. Still, I'm thankful that Daniel jio-ed me for that run. First ever run I signed up for. Wanted to take picture with Mr Tharman, but too paiseh. A pity, but won't die. Had dinner with Cindy and Kaiting on Sunday. Jason couldn't make it - too busy with camps and socializing. Pretty cool that he actually asked me how the night went. But after I said my piece, there wasn't anymore reply. Wtf, might as well don't ask. Anyway, we ate at Koh Grill and Sushi Bar. Long time after people raved about it, I finally tried it. The signature "shiok maki" was indeed good. Already described on Instagram, so shall not repeat. I know that the Charlie platoon 8 boys have been there before. Can't help being reminded of that picture. Sometimes I just wish I can erase some memories. Didn't join them because we weren't close enough at that time. Now also not say close with a lot of people. Neither here nor there. On the fence. Grey zone.
Started learning driving on Monday. Instructor is a professional, but queer guy. Nothing else to say. Just wanna faster get that damn license. Met Minqi on Tuesday before she flew off to South Korea for summer studies. She once mentioned that I'm a "precious friend" despite reduced interactions. Damn touched.
I like my OC in Charlie. He is flexible, understanding, caring, respectable, and knows how to build rapport with his men. In the battalion birthday card that I received this year, he wrote that it seems just like yesterday when we were at Tekong (during AIT phase when he just joined us), sitting under the stars and chatting while waiting for the assault. That was 1.5 years back, and I share that memory too. He could really talk - words kept gushing out from his mouth like water from an open tap. I remember the other people started dozing off, and I was the last one standing. I admit that I also wanted to turn off and get some peace and quiet but I gave him face. Lately, he has been pretty moody. I wrote a PM to him on Facebook on Thursday trying to lift his spirits a little. A 21-year-old trying to talk a 30-year-old round, haha. But I think I made some sense. The NSmen still call him Sir. Maybe commanders got the "commander burden". But I have no qualms calling him by his name. It isn't unruly what, I'm not in uniform and I'm not under him anymore. Maybe next month jio him out to see how he's doing. Also Thursday, I was very out of the blue when I asked to exchange phone numbers with a primary school friend. We are not totally strangers as we've exchanged a few email correspondences throughout the years and conversed on MSN. Then again, it has been a long time since we interacted. She gave her number without hesitation and when I went a step further to ask her out, she amazingly readily agreed. Gonna talk our hearts out tomorrow.
I watched a Running Man episode on Friday with Park Ji-sung as the guest. I went to google him and found out that "He is the most decorated Asian footballer in history." Then I found out about this best friend Patrice Evra (reminded of HIMYM), and realized that both of them appeared on an earlier episode. So I went to watch it. Evra is damn hilarious. I also saw the following clip, which is endearing.
The lady at the end should have omitted "Maybe not as much as Patrice". That was uncalled for.
This month hasn't been easy - things falling out of expectations, and wondering about my importance to others. Still, I have experienced simple joys of life. That's about it.
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