A Closing Chapter

Less than a month before the "big day". ORD is a milestone. It is the closure of a chapter of life and the start of another. Perhaps it is liberation, but I don't really feel the exhilaration. There are three main reasons. First, the five months before the start of college seem bleak now. Finding a job that I'll like will give substance to it. Second, I am already in the relaxation phase. With MC+leave+off+deployment, camp is like a hotel now. And ORD has been overhyped because since long ago, my friends have already been cheering for me. Third, I'm not sure who will really miss me, but I'm sure I will miss some of them. Recently doing quite a good job curbing expenditure, though today spent $80 in a twinkling of an eye. But celebrate friend's birthday - sort of necessary. And also very addicted to a mobile game nowadays. Have never been so addicted to a game after Maple, which was...a few years back? Spent $25 buying in-game gold. I am taken aback myself.
Anyway, reheard the following song by Mayday. The lyrics are so reflective of the excruciating pain inside. What's thought to be indescribable by words, are astonishingly presented in figurative speech. Even if a person is not either of the party told in the song, it is also heart wrenching for him. This is one sad song filled with nostalgia, pity, and helplessness. (Just my own point of view)

最怕空气突然安静 最怕朋友突然的关心
最怕回忆 突然翻滚绞痛著 不平息
最怕突然 听到你的消息
想念如果会有声音 不愿那是悲伤的哭泣
事到如今 终于让自己属于 我自己
只剩眼泪 还骗不过自己
突然好想你 你会在哪里 过得快乐或委屈
突然好想你 突然锋利的回忆 突然模糊的眼睛
我们像一首最美丽的歌曲 变成两部悲伤的电影
为什么你 带我走过最难忘的旅行
然后留下 最痛的纪念品
我们 那么甜那么美那么相信
那么疯那么热烈的曾经
为何我们还是要奔向各自的幸福和遗憾中老去
突然好想你 你会在哪里 过得快乐或委屈
突然好想你 突然锋利的回忆 突然模糊的眼睛
最怕空气突然安静 最怕朋友突然的关心
最怕回忆 突然翻滚绞痛著 不平息
最怕突然 听到你的消息
最怕此生 已经决心自己过 没有你
却又突然 听到你的消息

In a guy's point of view, it is like saying that he fears the solitude, friends offering concerns, and hearing news of his ex-girlfriend (Especially engagement/wedding). Today, he is seemingly leading a life of his own, but tears now and then remind him that he still pines for the girl, and revolving around her in a sense. He wonders how the girl is currently doing, and recollecting those memories bring pain to himself. He cries again.
They were once thought to be ever-lasting, little did he expect himself to part with the girl. The guy finds it regrettable that they have woven so many wonderful times together yet those times became the most painful souvenirs that the girl had left him. They were once so loving, so why did they have to go different ways.
Just when the guy decided to treat that he had never met the girl before, he is again greeted with her news.