Tough Sophomore Year
When my sister bought an mp3 in 2005, I was so eager to add new songs. I asked a classmate for recommendations and one of those was "Welcome to My Life" by Simple Plan. These days, the lyrics resonate so strongly with me, because varsity life is a mess.
Imagine a person calling you "sticky" just because you asked to talk to him on a few occasions and tried seeking assurance of his support. On the other hand, another person thinks you keep secluding yourself despite her "efforts to include you". So that's a conflict there. To tell or not to tell, that's the question. When I do confide in this girl, I find it useless. She'll listen, but usually she gives this feeling of nonchalance. And her sensitivity is a huge doubt. For example, when she was with her OG - a group of people I don't know - I chose to sit elsewhere. When she saw me, she gave the "wtf" gesture and expression like "Why are you sitting there yourself?" When I explained myself, saying that I was meeting two other people anyway, she rolled her eyes and did that childish antic which you make incomprehensible sounds. I saw no point in her doing that, and none of my other friends does this. When people do that to her, she'll definitely take into offense. This is a valid assumption because there was once I said a prickly sentence to her - Eh pay attention to the lecture la - (meant it as a form of joke but she didn't regard it so), and her face immediately changed and she retorted "As if I was talking to you". I've lost count of how many wtf moments I've experienced. Plus it's not always good to impose on others right. I believe I have greatly cut down on burdening her with my issues. Anyway she gets cranky when she's under pressure and will be blatant and insensitive with her words and actions. Hell no do the same to her, because it's her prerogative as a princess.
Then there is this tattletale who goes round telling people not to talk to me just because our relationship soured. What is he? A 7 year old? Someone told me that he's been helping me to undo the effects of the tattletale's actions. Yes, compared to the rest in this small group, he's definitely relatively more reliable. So you might think I can see him as a support, a companion, a confidante. But this pillar is shaky. We used to share our personal thoughts and experiences, but now it feels like we're both not the apt person to approach. After accumulation of problems and unhappiness, we usually have a talk to sort things out, but history will just repeat itself. One, or the both of us just refuse to/cannot change. It's a constant mindfucking experience seeing reality deviating from words, and then again being told otherwise so your mentality is forced to change, which then changes again from what you see.
Maybe in our hearts we know that we won't be lifelong friends with certain people, but the shallow treatment among people is just too game strong.
I guess this is growing up.
Imagine a person calling you "sticky" just because you asked to talk to him on a few occasions and tried seeking assurance of his support. On the other hand, another person thinks you keep secluding yourself despite her "efforts to include you". So that's a conflict there. To tell or not to tell, that's the question. When I do confide in this girl, I find it useless. She'll listen, but usually she gives this feeling of nonchalance. And her sensitivity is a huge doubt. For example, when she was with her OG - a group of people I don't know - I chose to sit elsewhere. When she saw me, she gave the "wtf" gesture and expression like "Why are you sitting there yourself?" When I explained myself, saying that I was meeting two other people anyway, she rolled her eyes and did that childish antic which you make incomprehensible sounds. I saw no point in her doing that, and none of my other friends does this. When people do that to her, she'll definitely take into offense. This is a valid assumption because there was once I said a prickly sentence to her - Eh pay attention to the lecture la - (meant it as a form of joke but she didn't regard it so), and her face immediately changed and she retorted "As if I was talking to you". I've lost count of how many wtf moments I've experienced. Plus it's not always good to impose on others right. I believe I have greatly cut down on burdening her with my issues. Anyway she gets cranky when she's under pressure and will be blatant and insensitive with her words and actions. Hell no do the same to her, because it's her prerogative as a princess.
Then there is this tattletale who goes round telling people not to talk to me just because our relationship soured. What is he? A 7 year old? Someone told me that he's been helping me to undo the effects of the tattletale's actions. Yes, compared to the rest in this small group, he's definitely relatively more reliable. So you might think I can see him as a support, a companion, a confidante. But this pillar is shaky. We used to share our personal thoughts and experiences, but now it feels like we're both not the apt person to approach. After accumulation of problems and unhappiness, we usually have a talk to sort things out, but history will just repeat itself. One, or the both of us just refuse to/cannot change. It's a constant mindfucking experience seeing reality deviating from words, and then again being told otherwise so your mentality is forced to change, which then changes again from what you see.
Maybe in our hearts we know that we won't be lifelong friends with certain people, but the shallow treatment among people is just too game strong.
I guess this is growing up.
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