Misery
Blogging one day later than what I have planned. To start off, I must say that my posts have been serious, sad and dull. But what I have been posting are very reflective of my life. Lost the ability to type in a lighthearted manner. Even complaining is full of negative energy, anger, and seriousness. Nothing like "Oh my gosh, what a bad week it has been. You know the @#$%&!%! totally got on my nerves again. *deep breath in, deep breath out*" Nothing of this kind of sorts. No drama, all stern and grumpy. But one thing is, I retained the authenticity of my mood.
First thing, my platoon sergeant is ORD-ing. A regular is going to take over us. And usually, regulars are the ones who follow rule-by-rule, who especially like to pick on trivialities, who do unnecessary stuff and are those you don't want to mess with. Just smile in front of them and complain behind their backs. Lol. Some obsequious ones would definitely try to suck up to them but no, I am not a sycophant and won't joke or talk to them when I don't feel like it. Anyway, there will surely be less leeway. Area cleaning now = spick and span at every nook or cranny every single time, instead of one-tour-touch-two-spots kind of inspection. Sigh, even dreadful days ahead. 200 more working days to ORD, I fervently pray for that day to come! (I used the countdown timer, not self-calculation)
Second, someone else has been appointed as the company medic instead of me. I am not disappointed, at most envy the life of his. The OC told me before that he had intention of giving that appointment to me. With this alone, I feel recognized. But on hearing that he said he will arrange for the company medic to go SCS, I said no. I don't want to live in self-denial that I didn't get it because of my own rejection, so I went to find out why. My PC told me that the commanders were asked for opinions since they are presumably closer to us and know us better. He said I didn't get it because I was too quiet. Did you see that crow fly past? Anyway, I was talking to him that day, and I told him, "Talking about being quiet, I think that platoon X's xxx and xxx deserve to be promoted to LCP but they didn't get it because, in definition like yours, they are too quiet. That's a pity."
He replied, "If you can't even get the attention of your commanders, how can you even be promoted?"
He also said, "Being promoted to a LCP means you have to be a leader and talk in front of others."
These 2 sentences are not verbatim but the idea is there. Ok, regarding the first one. Every one in the platoon knows every other person now, so nobody is an unknown figure/is non-existent. Besides, those who do not make themselves that prominent are not introverts/shun away from others. When you talk to them, you realize that they are good people to talk to. What commanders fail to see are those "behind the scenes". Some people may not be loud and hang out with the commanders but actually within the platoon, they mingle, they build good rapport with others, they help, and have good reputation. Ok, if you fail to grab the attention of commanders, you are at a disadvantage, but then again, no doubt it is pity. Regarding the second statement, not all who wayang and got promoted, are articulate and able to speak coherently. Not all who do not wayang cannot speak well. In all, the ambit of selecting one for promotion is small. But that's how things work, at least over here. You need someone who is loud/has a glib tongue/a joker because chattering simians are those who are similar to the majority and thus have a common call to command them. Sarcasm strongly intended.
Third, I kind of like deployment life. This is selfish thought because my life is slack, not like others. Thus, I dread going back to camp.
Actually I wanted to recollect some of the times back in BMT in lieu of the anniversary but then I dropped the thought. 3/4 people I sent "Happy 1 year anniversary of friendship" to, replied with "1 year soldier lo!". No variation...was looking more along the line of friendship. Expecting too much.
First thing, my platoon sergeant is ORD-ing. A regular is going to take over us. And usually, regulars are the ones who follow rule-by-rule, who especially like to pick on trivialities, who do unnecessary stuff and are those you don't want to mess with. Just smile in front of them and complain behind their backs. Lol. Some obsequious ones would definitely try to suck up to them but no, I am not a sycophant and won't joke or talk to them when I don't feel like it. Anyway, there will surely be less leeway. Area cleaning now = spick and span at every nook or cranny every single time, instead of one-tour-touch-two-spots kind of inspection. Sigh, even dreadful days ahead. 200 more working days to ORD, I fervently pray for that day to come! (I used the countdown timer, not self-calculation)
Second, someone else has been appointed as the company medic instead of me. I am not disappointed, at most envy the life of his. The OC told me before that he had intention of giving that appointment to me. With this alone, I feel recognized. But on hearing that he said he will arrange for the company medic to go SCS, I said no. I don't want to live in self-denial that I didn't get it because of my own rejection, so I went to find out why. My PC told me that the commanders were asked for opinions since they are presumably closer to us and know us better. He said I didn't get it because I was too quiet. Did you see that crow fly past? Anyway, I was talking to him that day, and I told him, "Talking about being quiet, I think that platoon X's xxx and xxx deserve to be promoted to LCP but they didn't get it because, in definition like yours, they are too quiet. That's a pity."
He replied, "If you can't even get the attention of your commanders, how can you even be promoted?"
He also said, "Being promoted to a LCP means you have to be a leader and talk in front of others."
These 2 sentences are not verbatim but the idea is there. Ok, regarding the first one. Every one in the platoon knows every other person now, so nobody is an unknown figure/is non-existent. Besides, those who do not make themselves that prominent are not introverts/shun away from others. When you talk to them, you realize that they are good people to talk to. What commanders fail to see are those "behind the scenes". Some people may not be loud and hang out with the commanders but actually within the platoon, they mingle, they build good rapport with others, they help, and have good reputation. Ok, if you fail to grab the attention of commanders, you are at a disadvantage, but then again, no doubt it is pity. Regarding the second statement, not all who wayang and got promoted, are articulate and able to speak coherently. Not all who do not wayang cannot speak well. In all, the ambit of selecting one for promotion is small. But that's how things work, at least over here. You need someone who is loud/has a glib tongue/a joker because chattering simians are those who are similar to the majority and thus have a common call to command them. Sarcasm strongly intended.
Third, I kind of like deployment life. This is selfish thought because my life is slack, not like others. Thus, I dread going back to camp.
Actually I wanted to recollect some of the times back in BMT in lieu of the anniversary but then I dropped the thought. 3/4 people I sent "Happy 1 year anniversary of friendship" to, replied with "1 year soldier lo!". No variation...was looking more along the line of friendship. Expecting too much.
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