Of Nostalgia and Forlornness
"Why do we never know what we've got till it's gone?" is a line from M2M's song, "The Day You Went Away". It's not that I've lost somebody, but the emotion that this line is expressing, is quite like what I have been feeling these days.
2 of my BMT section mates, Yuequan and Shenghong, are actually in the same camp as me, just different battalions. Their presence rakes up many memories at Tekong and knocks me out of my usual perfunctory state. The best companions I have found in army, are those I met back on that island. I felt more driven to do things and felt more strongly that lasting friendships can be forged through army. I wish I had interacted with them more, not go through motions everyday. Indeed, people would try to outshine in order to enter command school but still, there are some who will stay genuine and not resort to underhand means to achieve their aims. These are the people who you can trust and talk to and Yuequan and Shenghong are such.
Few days ago, I had the chance to have a proper talk with the both of them. After what seemed like eternity, I still felt that we had not talked long enough. I learnt that Shenghong has become more depressed ever since he stepped into this camp. However, he can still joke like he used to, and the style never changed, like the classic: pronouncing the word "care" with a bimbotic accent. I think he is still in the process of adapting to the environment and he will stay strong and tide over any challenges that may confront him. He is one good friend whom I have met and I feel obliged to hear him pour his troubled waters whenever he needs. Yuequan's circumstance is somewhat different and he probably wouldn't share Shenghong's predicament but similarly, I will be there if I can render any help to him.
On Friday night, I was alone in bunk while the rest had booked out. Reason is that I had to stay back for remedial training (RT) for not having achieved at least Silver for IPPT. (Damn my skinny arms :/) Anyway, I happened to listen to the broadcast of Y.E.S 93.3FM, and realised that it was Dennis Chew's last day hosting at the radio station. The veteran deejay has stayed with 93.3 for around 20 years and I guess his colleagues and loyal listeners are going to miss him tremendously. His colleagues were on air to share some of the memories they had with him and those recollections were very touching. Albeit in the light of separation, they would probably not feel what I am feeling, because from what I heard, they had really spent quality times together. They appreciate one another and seemed like they did not squander even a second. In a nutshell I want to say that some people need to be cherished. Don't wait till time has passed and when you look back then you realise that time has been wasted not building the relationship.
My company did a peer appraisal, where each individual listed down the good and poor qualities of others in his section. The feedback given to me were all along the same line. Under "positive aspects", all mainly revolve around "good medical knowledge" and under "negative aspects", largely "too quiet, need to mingle with us more". I feel appreciated that they praise me for being knowledgeable, but actually I think I'm just passable. Anyway, being appreciated is sheer satisfaction. But a lot of the uncivilised people in my platoon tend to take things for granted and do not appreciate the effort of others. Many times I feel disgusted by things like this and wouldn't want to communicate with such people. Trying not to be "too quiet", it's easier said than done. The people I meet so far have run the gamut from angelic to demonic. I hope to find strength from the former. Maybe Yuequan, Shenghong and I can hold a weekly sharing session.
2 of my BMT section mates, Yuequan and Shenghong, are actually in the same camp as me, just different battalions. Their presence rakes up many memories at Tekong and knocks me out of my usual perfunctory state. The best companions I have found in army, are those I met back on that island. I felt more driven to do things and felt more strongly that lasting friendships can be forged through army. I wish I had interacted with them more, not go through motions everyday. Indeed, people would try to outshine in order to enter command school but still, there are some who will stay genuine and not resort to underhand means to achieve their aims. These are the people who you can trust and talk to and Yuequan and Shenghong are such.
Few days ago, I had the chance to have a proper talk with the both of them. After what seemed like eternity, I still felt that we had not talked long enough. I learnt that Shenghong has become more depressed ever since he stepped into this camp. However, he can still joke like he used to, and the style never changed, like the classic: pronouncing the word "care" with a bimbotic accent. I think he is still in the process of adapting to the environment and he will stay strong and tide over any challenges that may confront him. He is one good friend whom I have met and I feel obliged to hear him pour his troubled waters whenever he needs. Yuequan's circumstance is somewhat different and he probably wouldn't share Shenghong's predicament but similarly, I will be there if I can render any help to him.
On Friday night, I was alone in bunk while the rest had booked out. Reason is that I had to stay back for remedial training (RT) for not having achieved at least Silver for IPPT. (Damn my skinny arms :/) Anyway, I happened to listen to the broadcast of Y.E.S 93.3FM, and realised that it was Dennis Chew's last day hosting at the radio station. The veteran deejay has stayed with 93.3 for around 20 years and I guess his colleagues and loyal listeners are going to miss him tremendously. His colleagues were on air to share some of the memories they had with him and those recollections were very touching. Albeit in the light of separation, they would probably not feel what I am feeling, because from what I heard, they had really spent quality times together. They appreciate one another and seemed like they did not squander even a second. In a nutshell I want to say that some people need to be cherished. Don't wait till time has passed and when you look back then you realise that time has been wasted not building the relationship.
My company did a peer appraisal, where each individual listed down the good and poor qualities of others in his section. The feedback given to me were all along the same line. Under "positive aspects", all mainly revolve around "good medical knowledge" and under "negative aspects", largely "too quiet, need to mingle with us more". I feel appreciated that they praise me for being knowledgeable, but actually I think I'm just passable. Anyway, being appreciated is sheer satisfaction. But a lot of the uncivilised people in my platoon tend to take things for granted and do not appreciate the effort of others. Many times I feel disgusted by things like this and wouldn't want to communicate with such people. Trying not to be "too quiet", it's easier said than done. The people I meet so far have run the gamut from angelic to demonic. I hope to find strength from the former. Maybe Yuequan, Shenghong and I can hold a weekly sharing session.
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